No matter how happy you are with a person, you find yourself distancing yourself from this happiness because you feel that it will be short-lived. You’re afraid of doing something that can ruin your relationship. You feel that one day your partner will wake up to find that they don’t like you anymore. You think that what you are or who you are will not be enough to make them stay.
Why do people feel insecure in their relationships?
Everything boils back down to the source – you. Feelings of insecurity can hinder the growth of a happy relationship. There are several reasons why a person might feel this way.
#1 Low self-esteem. People who don’t think they are good enough can sometimes blame their partners. You might think that your partner is too attractive, too smart or too sexy for you. You think that they deserve someone prettier, with better skin or a better stock portfolio.
#2 Past issues. We all go through different things in life. Before you met your partner, you had your own experiences that left marks you didn’t know could affect your state of mind. Traumatic experiences can manifest as a behavioral disorder – some of which include depression and insecurity.
#3 Definition of success. Your competition with yourself can be intensified by a partner who is open and generous. Because they are giving you everything, you may feel that you are not giving your relationship and yourself enough. You don’t have the perfect job. Your savings are not enough. Your car is crap. Your attitude sucks. Those things can increase your insecurities as well.
#4 Your partner. If you think your loved one is turning a blind eye to your distress, your insecurities could be further amplified by their ignorance. You think that they don’t care enough, so you compensate by blaming yourself because you are not getting the attention you feel you deserve.
#5 Money. Like they say, it’s the root of all problems, but it’s also the solution to most. In this case, it may be what’s causing your insecurity. Not having enough may be the problem for you. If you are a man, it can be seen as a huge blow to your ego. If you are a woman, you might feel weak because you are not providing as much.
Relationships are made up of two people. These two people need to work together to make their connection, communication and development better. Before that can happen, you must address the issue at a primary level. You need to understand yourself better and fix the problem from the source before you can actually start to feel better about yourself in the relationship.
Feel less threatened by your partner and your relationship
The key to finding the strength to overcome your insecurities lies in your courage to face the problems head on. You can’t just turn your back on them and wish for them to go away. Be proactive in taking care of yourself and find it within you to let go of your self-doubt.
#1 Find the joy in what you do. Your work is as much a part of you as your relationship is. Once you feel that your worth is not sufficient in terms of your career, you need to find a way to make it matter. If you are doing what you love, stop thinking that it won’t be enough for your partner. If you are in a position where money matters more than your passion, remind yourself why you’re doing what you do, and stick to that.
No occupation is worthless or demeaning. A good and honest living is something to be grateful and happy about. Once you find happiness at a professional level, you will find that competing with your partner or not being able to live up to their standard is now a non-issue.
Source: Lovepanky.com
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