1. You drink too much: The Nairobi woman seems to have taken talk from men who say that they have respect for a woman who can sit alone in a bar too seriously.
True, being able to buy your own drink may make you appear confident. For a man who is looking for a serious relationship however, a drunk, slurring woman is an utterly unattractive sight. No man wants to be in a relationship with, much less marry, a woman who outdrinks him.
2. Offering s’εx without commitment: With the feminist liberation movements, women have made a lot of strides in the society. It is this feeling of liberation that has seen many urban women being liberal with their bodies.
It may be very liberating to be able to have no strings attached s’εx with a man, but it does not do any favours to your love life.
How do you expect the men you date to value you or your body when you do not appear to value it yourself? He will only put a ring on it if he values it.
3. You have no idea what it takes: The Nairobi woman is doing well for herself. She’s had a good education and holds a great job. For these reasons, she feels entitled to a good man and a great relationship.
The point that she is missing is that the qualities that make you a star employee are not the same ones that make a woman a good wife.
Try working on your personality. Your CV will not attract you a husband.
4. You are lazy: Technology has made amazing transformations in our lives. You can order meals, movies or even the cleaning lady all from the comfort of your couch. Everyone relies on these modern day conveniences at one point or the other.
If you are seeking a serious relationship however, you will actually need to get off your ass. To start with, to be able to meet a man, you actually need to get out of the house.
Second, before he can think of a relationship leading to the altar, a man needs to see proof that you can actually run a home. After all has been said and done, the man’s role is provision while the woman’s is nurturing.
You need to be able to do more than just boiling an egg. Learn how to make a good, ugali.
5. You are the hunters: Men also enjoy being hunted. You must have heard this said at least once. There is no problem with being a woman who knows what she wants. The problem with the Nairobi woman is that this is all she does.
She is used to walking up to men in bars, on the streets or even in the office. Because of this, she tends to be too assertive and brash which is unattractive. Deny this they might, but men still enjoy the thrill of the chase. So let them.
6. You are too picky: So you have this long list of the things you want the man of your dreams to have and to do for you. You want him tall, dark and handsome, to drive a particular car, to hold a certain job and to say particular things to you.
The men you meet do not meet the standards so you just sit and whine about it. The truth is that the Mr. Perfect you are waiting for doesn’t exist. It isn’t about dropping your standards altogether but lowering them. Ask yourself, are you perfect?
7. You denounced family over career: A college education is a good thing. It will open many doors for you. It however will not be a good thing if that is all you pay attention to in your twenties when you are young, pretty and marriageable.
You will get those degrees and the corner office and you will be happy for and while and then you won’t.
By the time you realize this, you are too old for marriage. You do not have to choose between the two, you have space for both in your life
8. You blame men for everything: The African woman is bitter. For everything that goes wrong in her life, she blames the men in her life. They may be to blame for some things but they can’t be to blame for everything.
This attitude is the wrong foundation of any healthy relationship. The minute you take charge and start taking responsibility for your mistakes, you will be on your way to a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
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