1. He’s Too Busy to See You
You connect with a guy through online dating and then meet him in person
— the date goes really well. You could tell he had a good time, just
like you did.
After that first date, he texts you and might call on occasion. Then he
gets really busy at work so you haven’t seen him since. That’s OK, you
tell yourself; the texting is a lot of fun.
He texts something sweet in the morning and at night, and sometimes
during the day. You feel like you are getting to know him as the weeks
go by.
You tell yourself it’s obvious that he likes you. Why else would he
spend all that time texting you, right? This is where the fantasy
begins. Based on the virtual conversations you have, or even on the
phone, you start to interpret his contact as strong evidence that he’s
into you.
You might find yourself “falling in love” and thinking about him
throughout the day. You spend time day dreaming about what the future
holds for the two of you.
Your wake-up call: If a man is genuinely interested in you, he’ll make
time to see you. I realize that’s hard to accept, but the truth is:
There are men who enjoy texting with women and they’re probably
conversing with several along with you. It’s fun. It’s an ego boost. But
most importantly, it’s a huge waste of your precious time.
This guy isn’t into you, he’s just stringing you along. I don’t know
why, but I have no doubt this is the case. And WHY he does this doesn’t
really matter. The actions a man takes are what count most toward
proving his interest. If he’s not happily and regularly making time to
see you, he’s not the right man for you. Period. Understanding men is
really that simple.
The right man for you wants to spend time with you. He wants to see you
in the flesh and have ample opportunity to kiss those pretty lips of
yours. He would never hide from you or make excuses about how busy he
is. When a man is serious about you, he’ll move heaven and earth to
spend time with you.
2. He Tells You He Doesn’t Want a Relationship
On the first date, the guy tells you point blank — he’s not looking for a
relationship or anything serious. He moves on to chatting and fun
conversation, looking into your eyes, and making you laugh.
And it feels good to laugh and hold his attention on you, so you somehow
conveniently forget he ever told you that he doesn’t want what you want
— a committed relationship.
Your wake-up call: You want to believe, “He doesn’t mean that about me.”
And the fantasy begins. You don’t take him at his word and this is one
instance when you really should. He told you his dating agenda is
casual, not serious.
No matter how much interest he shows, he does not want the
responsibility that comes with a lasting relationship. I have seen this
happen with my clients over and over again. You’re wasting your time
here. Let this fantasy go!
3. He Pays Attention to You in Crowds
You hang out with a group of friends. There’s one guy who always pays
you a lot of attention when everyone is together. Yet, you never hear
from him in between. Maybe he messages you on Facebook or likes one of
your photos.
He might text on occasion. But, he doesn’t ask you out which confuses
you.
Women often make excuses for a man like this. You tell yourself, “He’s
shy” or “He’s busy”. These excuses satisfy you for a while as the
fantasy grows and you put all your eggs in his basket.
You wonder about him and when he will finally start dating you on a
regular basis. He must like you because every time you see him with the
group, he’s practically all over you.
Your wake-up call: Once again, this is not true. When a man is genuinely
interested, he’ll definitely ask you out. Even a shy guy knows what to
do if he truly wants to see you. A man with sincere romantic interest
wants to see you alone, so if he’s not making the move, then he’s not
that into you.
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