We’re all friends with that one couple on Facebook: the couple that
can’t stop posting mushy photos (hashtag: #blessed) and bragging about
their relationship every chance they get.
But while it may appear that they have the perfect relationship,
sometimes the best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on
Facebook at all.
Below, marriage therapists and other relationships experts share the 10
worst things you can post about your relationship.
Below are the Ten things you should never post on facebook about relationship
1. Lovey-dovey posts about your spouse.
Instead of bragging about how great your husband is for cleaning the
house, compliment him offline. He may or may not appreciate your public
declarations of love, but your Facebook friends are probably just
rolling their eyes, said Marcia Naomi Berger, a psychotherapist and
author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the
Relationship You’ve Always Wanted.
“I particularly dislike lovey-dovey posts because in my experience, the
people who broadcast how great their personal lives are tend to have
less-than satisfying intimate lives but still cause others to feel bad
about their own, even if they’re fine,” she said.
2. Posting pics (especially unflattering ones) without permission.
Not every photo you took at last weekend’s party needs to be posted —
especially the one where your wife is sporting some serious crazy eyes.
“One good rule of thumb for social media and couples: Ask your partner
in advance of it’s OK to post any photo that includes him or her,” said
Seth Meyers, a psychologist and author of Overcome Relationship
Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve.
3. Jokey posts about your spouse’s shortcomings.
Sure, it’s kind of cute that your spouse is so bad at cooking, even Easy
Mac is a challenge. But if you’re considering posting a witty status
update about it, you better make sure you get clearance from him first,
said Aaron Anderson, a marriage and family therapist and owner of the
Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, Colorado.
“When you bring funny things your spouse did up in the right circles,
there’s no harm done,” he said. “But when you post their screw-ups on
social media, there’s no context behind it and there’s no filter for
what crowd they get shared with. Regardless of how cute you thought it
was, your spouse may not want your mother or your college ex to know
about it.”
4. Cryptic posts about your spouse’s bad behavior.
Your Facebook profile is not The Jerry Springer Show. Keep the
accusations of two-timing — or any other questionable behavior — to
yourself, advised Brenda Della Casa, a relationship expert and author of
Cinderella Was a Liar: The Real Reason You Can’t Find (or Keep) a
Prince.
“Whether warranted or not, be careful what you announce on your Facebook
page when your emotions are running high,” she said. “Better to get
your facts and feelings straight before making a PR announcement.”
5. Photo posts with captions about how hot your spouse is.
It’s great that you think you have the #hottesthubbyever — or that your
wife deserves to be your #WCW every week — but your spouse might not be
as fond of the posts as you are, Anderson said.
“Posting pics of them on the beach or in their new PJs makes them (not
to mention you) look superficial,” he said.
“Plus, they may not want your mother and the rest of your family to see
them in that outfit that makes them look so hot.”
6. Subtle digs at your partner’s ex.
If it drives you nuts that your girlfriend is still Facebook friends
with her ex, take it up with her. Shooting off passive aggressive
comments about him on Facebook is just going to make you look bad, said
dating coach and relationship expert Neely Steinberg.
“It may be tempting to comment on your partner’s ex — especially if he
or she is meddling in your relationship — but airing your grievances on
social media is just passive aggressive,” she said. “Keep these matters
between the two of you; your 1000 friends don’t need to know.”
7. The details of your fights and arguments.
Save your relationship rants for your therapist or trusted friends, said
marriage therapist Christine Wilke.
“Strife and squabbles happen in the best of relationships, but do you
need to use your status updates to let the world know that your spouse
kept you up all night with his incessant snoring — or that you’re sick
of her constantly flirting with the guy next door?” Wilke said. “Some
things really need to be kept behind those closed doors. When you come
around to making up with your partner, there’s no putting that cat back
in the bag.”
8. TMI-filled posts directed toward your spouse.
That “Can’t wait for you to get home tonight… ;) ” wall post is probably
best delivered as a text or through Facebook chat. Others probably find
it icky.
“Don’t post comments about s*x,” said psychologist Samantha Rodman.
“While your husband may be flattered to read your thinly veiled allusion
about your afternoon delight, your mother-in-law may be less than
thrilled and your kid’s dance teacher may be outright weirded out.”
9. Passive aggressive comments about your in-laws
You see an article about meddling in-laws and you can’t stop yourself
from tagging your friends and writing, “Sounds like someone I know…”
Fight off that urge next time, regardless of how fine-tuned your
Facebook privacy settings may be, said therapist Heather Gray.
“Don’t use your friends list to complain about the shortcomings of your
in-laws. If you need backup from a friend, do so privately,” she said.
“Don’t assume that by blocking your in-laws from your message that they
won’t see what you have to say. Word gets around quickly with friends of
friends.”
10. Reminders to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.
Facebook can be a great, helpful tool to catch up with friends, but it
shouldn’t be a substitute for genuine connection with your partner, said
Wilke.
“When you’re using Facebook to figure out who’s picking the kids up
tonight or to talk, it may be time to slow down and start thinking about
how you can reengage in a more meaningful way offline,” she said.

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