7 Things You Don’t Owe Your Partner

You wouldn’t believe how many women (rarely men) feel like slaves in their relationships. Every other day I receive emails and messages that contain the questions like this, “I’m fed up of feeling like my husband’s slave, but I’m afraid to be alone, what should I do?” or “Why does my partner treat me like some sort of slave?” The questions are different but the problem is the same. Over the past 5 years, I’ve helped many women who were dealing with different types of relationship problems. The reason why their husbands treated them badly was because those women allowed them to do that. Self-respect is unbelievably crucial regardless of whether you are married or single. Your partner should respect you, but he won’t do it until you learn to value yourself first. Here are some of the most important things you don’t owe your partner, just like he doesn’t owe you.

1. The right to repeatedly break your heart You’re not supposed to love your partner and stay with him if he has cheated on you several times already. Just because you’re his girlfriend or wife doesn’t mean you must forgive him. Each partner may commit this type of mistake, but if your partner keeps breaking your heart over and over again, are you sure you want to be with him? You don’t owe him anything – neither forgiveness nor love.

2. Your ‘me time’ Each of you should have some time alone, especially if one of you is an introvert. If your partner wants all your time and don’t allow you to have your ‘me time,’ it’s not okay. Both partners don’t have to be together all the time. You may not realize how controlling your boyfriend actually is. You may think he loves you and wants to be with you all the time. Having no time for you isn’t healthy, though. Don’t expect your partner to be with you 24/7, and let him know that you need some time alone when you truly crave it.

3. Saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’ If you don’t feel like doing what your partner often asks, don’t be afraid to say ‘no.’ If your partner is the one who expects you to say ‘yes’ all of the time while he has the right to say ‘no,’ chances are you’re in an abusive relationship. Don’t feel guilty when you say ‘no.’ Just explain why you don’t want to do that. He will definitely understand you, of course if he loves you.

4. The right to control your goals and dreams Your partner shouldn’t prevent you from following your dreams and reaching your goals. He should support you, otherwise he doesn’t respect you. Listen to your gut. You’re the only one who should make decisions. Surely, you will listen to his opinions and maybe his words will encourage and help you. If not, listen to your heart instead.

5. The right to control your money Yes, couples should have a shared budget and financial goals, yet each of you should have some extra cash too. Investing in yourself is one of the best investments. Unfortunately, many women work hard each day but their husbands don’t allow them to purchase the essentials. If this is the case in your relationship, you have to talk to your partner. He has no right to control your money alone. You should do it together and you have the right to spend a certain amount of your paycheck on the things you really need – be it a new pan or a new dress.

6. Eternal love. As sad as it sounds, love fades away most of the time. You don’t owe each other eternal love. If your feelings of being in love with him seem to fade away or you meet another man and want to build a new relationship, let your partner know about it. Don’t lie. Respect him. If your partner loves another woman, don’t turn his life into hell. Both of you deserve to be happy. Staying in a relationship for the sake of the children or because you’re afraid to hurt him isn’t wise. Life is too short to spend it with someone you don’t love or who doesn’t love you.

7. Freedom Freedom goes hand in hand with ‘me time,’ albeit there’s a fine line between these two things. Freedom is priceless. It’s something many married couples lack. If you feel like a slave in your relationship, you are not free. Every person in the world has the right to freedom of thoughts and actions. If you want to become a professional dancer, you have the right to achieve this goal. If you want to travel around the world, follow your dream. Both of you should appreciate and give each other more freedom. This is the key to a successful and happy relationship. There are many things you don’t owe each other. Most couples believe in a myth that a man must work and a woman must stay home and cook a dinner. Enjoy this life together and ignore all those myths that ruin many relationships. Do you feel your partner expects too much from you?